I don’t think I’ve seen a greater misunderstanding of their own community in recent times than the headline-making story of how gay fashion designer icons Dolce and Gabbana have decided that the only valid families are traditional ones with a mother and father, and how they think that so-called ‘synthetic’ children of all kinds are simply ‘fashion accessories’.
I’ve said it already to friends, but perhaps they’ve spent so long dealing solely with fashion that they’ve become blinkered; they are unable to see anything beyond in life. In fact, they’re clearly disconnected from the workings of the everyday gay, and demeaning the very existence of many children around the world born via many different methods.
I know they are talking about more cases than just those affecting us LGB&T people, but I would put it to them and everyone else – no LGB&T person makes the move to start a family lightly. This isn’t a scene in the movie “Bruno”.
No – real LGB&T people in fact have to think very carefully about the decision to start a family. They have to consider enormous expense to perform surrogacy, or brave a discriminating adoption system. They cannot adopt their partner’s children in many countries. More importantly than even those are that they have to deal with raising children in a hostile society, and how societal prejudice will impact on their children. It sucks.
Regardless of our sexuality or gender, genetics, instinct and our entire society and culture is deeply ingrained in the idea of raising and being part of a family. I think there belies an attitude amongst some that us LGB&T people are exempt from these influences, that we just ‘ignore’ or have had these switched off because of who we are. Unfortunately, this just isn’t true if considered for more than a passing moment. So, no, Dolce. Absolutely not, Gabbana. There’s just aren’t LGB or T people out there using children as fashion accessories, or as fads and trends. Just like everyone else, there are complex societal reasons for the desire to start a family and raise children.